Self Acceptance – Lessons From My Hair
Affair
by Lee Mellott, Webhost of The PATH Weight Loss
For our diet and, indeed, in every aspect of our lives, we must
remember to relax from the demands of the unrealistic ideal. For those trying to
lose weight, you cannot be the Barbie. For those lifting weights, you cannot be
the Governor of California. Accepting this principle first, can give you the
peace of mind to love what you do have, lower frustration, and actually make
weight loss easier in the long run!
A few years ago while driving to the drugstore I watched a family walk across
the street. There was a woman who appeared to be in her 70's with a thick mass
of black hair flowing down her back. Next to her was another woman 40ish with a
thick mass of black hair flowing down her back. And walking with them, a teen
with a thick mass of black hair flowing down her back, and alongside her was a
girl about six years old with a thick mass of black hair flowing down her back.
The teen was pushing a pram. I craned my neck and observed a tiny baby tucked
inside – no there was no flowing mass of black hair. But I could see little
black tufts starting up and I was willing to bet what that would look like in
the future.
I drove on to the drugstore feeling a bit gloomy. When I got to the store, I saw
rows of hair beautification products. Products to pump up the volume, smooth,
curl, add bounce. I had tried many of them in the past with maybe some
improvement but not much. What I really needed was more hair. If any of those
ladies walking would give me just a little bit of their hair I would really
benefit and I doubt if they would miss it. I have baby fine blond hair. The kind
that wilts in the heat, hangs limply in the rain and loses its style quickly.
Later that week, I happened to catch the talk show Maury. Women were on the show
complaining about their hair. One young African American lady caught my
attention. About 14 years old, she had wiry black hair. It sprouted out from her
head and went all over the place. She cried as she told Maury that she had not
had a comb in her hair in years because it got all tangled. I was shocked as she
told Maury that insects landed in her hair and stayed there. And I thought I had
problem hair.
After watching the show, I started thinking about my hair and instead of viewing
it as a problem I decided to focus on the assets. Ok my hair was very fine ...
but that meant a couple minutes with the blow dryer was all it took to dry it.
My hair grew very slowly ... but that meant I saved money when I got highlights
because it took them forever to grow out. Also I would never have to pay for an
"UPDO" because there was not enough hair to do up!
I thought about my struggle to have long hair. My dream hair was a long, shiny
mane. I had given that idea up long ago and decided to settle for a chin length
bob. But that wasn't working out either. My hair looked flat and drab. It was
the same with my fingernails. I wanted medium length nails but nail products and
calcium weren't producing results. Right then and there I decided to ACCEPT what
I had and work with it to make life SIMPLE and ENJOYABLE. Instead of fighting my
genetic code I would work with it.
Next stop the hairdresser. I had my hair cut off to a very simple bob that hit
just below the ear. On "good hair days" I could wear it over the ear. And on bad
ones or when I got caught in the rain, I could slick it back behind the ear.
Highlights to give it body and more shine were added and I purchased products
that while they don't work miracles they were suitable for my hair. Next I threw
out all my nail hardeners. They might work for other people but they weren't
working for me. I filed my nails down to a simple, blunt length. I purchased a
very good file and a chamois buffer. If I paint them I will use clear or a pale
pink. But usually they are just buffed to a healthy glow. No more struggle with
the nails. Wow!
It's amazing how good it feels and how much simpler our lives become when we
accept what we have and work it to our advantage. Think about what you have,
that you struggle to change. Is it something you can change or is it something
that you can't. Life is so much easier when you work with what you have. Indeed,
no one is going to mistake me for the Breck Girl or the lady in the Herbal
Essence Shampoo commercial. But that's ok because I enjoy my hair and nails now
and that's what matters!
About the author: Lee Mellott is the webhost for The PATH Weight Loss:
www.fatfallacy.com. She holds a Masters degree in Education from Hood College.
Born in England, she spent most of her childhood in France and Germany. Lee
resides with her husband Rusty and their two daughters Katie and Jessica in
Maryland.
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